Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Heartbreak; Part 1.

Ok, so you might know by now, I'm going through a heartbreak. However, I'm finally getting over it, and I feel like doing something other than feeling bad. So, I'll share some advice with all of you about this really bad thing; Heartbreak.

So many people (vast majority being teens) experience heartbreak, and it's a really hard pill to swallow. Heartbreak can take a major hit on your pride, your self-esteem, your will to live, you're will to do anything, your work ethics, your morals, your physical health, and many other factors of your life. The saddest part of all this though, is very few people know how to handle heartbreak. Hopefully, you'll read this and know a little better next time you or a friend of yours goes through this inevitable evil.

First, when the heartbreak strikes, the victim goes into a state of denial, followed immediately by complete loss of sanity. The victim wants to die, or wants desperately to talk the accused into reconsidering (which of course, rarely, if ever, happens). At this point, if you are contacted by the victim, simply listen to the story, reassure the victim that they are not worthless and that you would do anything for them, and that if they want to talk about this, you'll gladly listen and do anything else the victim wants. If you are the victim, call a friend. This is the absolute BEST thing you can do. Watching a movie, watching tv, playing a game... all those things will end after a little while, and you'll feel just as bad as you did before you did it. If you don't have a friend you can call and talk to or cry with (like myself), then you'll just have to bear it. Take a shower, cry your absolute heart out. Have a magnificent pity party, scream your anger, take it out on a pillow, pound the floor, release your madness on things that you won't later regret. You'll feel a little better afterwards, but keep in mind you still have a road of recovery ahead of you.

In the following few days, you're life will definitely be different, unless you have someone else you can latch onto and grow on, like you were with the accused. You'll feel fidgety, depressed, and overall bad. You won't want to go to school, work, out with a friend, or anyone else. This is normal, but it's not good. The best thing you can do is get out. Get up, get out, and enjoy yourself. Beg your folks for some money and have a night on the town. Pamper yourself, spare no expense. Tell yourself you deserve it, and it'll help you through this early road to recovery. If you have someone else you can use to replace the accused, then go with them. Although keep in mind as this does help you feel better almost immediately, it also greatly increases your chance of further heartbreak, and the next one will be even harder on you. Use caution when making such a decision. If your friend is going through these days, call them up, hang out, and remember to give them special treatment. Remember, the person feels horrible, worthless, and rejected. The best thing you can do is put them first and make as many sacrifices as possible. When they see you selflessly giving yourself to their happiness, it will impact them and greatly help. If they want to go to the mall, go along, and shop wherever they want to shop. If they want to hang out and play video games, play whatever game they want to play (and if you're really good, go easy on them and maybe even let them win without them knowing).

After around 3 or so days after the heartbreak, they'll start to feel better. The wound will be closing and it will start to scar. Although it may seem like they're better, (they'll act more normal and like themselves), remember they're still not fully recovered. Still pamper them a little bit, but not too much. Remember, if you overplay the nice person role, they'll become dependant on you, and never fully recover. But if you underplay it, they may go back into the heartbreak depression. If you're the victim and at this stage, you should be feeling better. But remember, you're not out of the tunnel yet. You'll want to go out and face the world, but this is mostly because you feel bad for missing the world so much, and want to make up for the time you lost in your depression. This is normal, and don't worry, so was the depression. You needed that down-time to recover, and now you want to make up for it. Don't. Go out and have fun, yes, but don't try and make up for lost time. Go at a good pace, one day at a time, and keep a good attitude. Keep in mind that you're still recovering, so don't try and make yourself feel like you're through it and ready to take on more challenges. You're not. If you do, you very well could end up back at the depression stage. Take it easy, but not too easy. Get out there, but don't go too far. Balance, grasshopper. Balance.

Now I'm not very far past it, so I'll have to continue this with the next entry. Part 2 will be about a week to 2 weeks after date of heartbreak. I hope you look forward to it. Until then, this is James William Walker V, still on the road to recovery. Adios!


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