Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Heartbreak; Part 1.

Ok, so you might know by now, I'm going through a heartbreak. However, I'm finally getting over it, and I feel like doing something other than feeling bad. So, I'll share some advice with all of you about this really bad thing; Heartbreak.

So many people (vast majority being teens) experience heartbreak, and it's a really hard pill to swallow. Heartbreak can take a major hit on your pride, your self-esteem, your will to live, you're will to do anything, your work ethics, your morals, your physical health, and many other factors of your life. The saddest part of all this though, is very few people know how to handle heartbreak. Hopefully, you'll read this and know a little better next time you or a friend of yours goes through this inevitable evil.

First, when the heartbreak strikes, the victim goes into a state of denial, followed immediately by complete loss of sanity. The victim wants to die, or wants desperately to talk the accused into reconsidering (which of course, rarely, if ever, happens). At this point, if you are contacted by the victim, simply listen to the story, reassure the victim that they are not worthless and that you would do anything for them, and that if they want to talk about this, you'll gladly listen and do anything else the victim wants. If you are the victim, call a friend. This is the absolute BEST thing you can do. Watching a movie, watching tv, playing a game... all those things will end after a little while, and you'll feel just as bad as you did before you did it. If you don't have a friend you can call and talk to or cry with (like myself), then you'll just have to bear it. Take a shower, cry your absolute heart out. Have a magnificent pity party, scream your anger, take it out on a pillow, pound the floor, release your madness on things that you won't later regret. You'll feel a little better afterwards, but keep in mind you still have a road of recovery ahead of you.

In the following few days, you're life will definitely be different, unless you have someone else you can latch onto and grow on, like you were with the accused. You'll feel fidgety, depressed, and overall bad. You won't want to go to school, work, out with a friend, or anyone else. This is normal, but it's not good. The best thing you can do is get out. Get up, get out, and enjoy yourself. Beg your folks for some money and have a night on the town. Pamper yourself, spare no expense. Tell yourself you deserve it, and it'll help you through this early road to recovery. If you have someone else you can use to replace the accused, then go with them. Although keep in mind as this does help you feel better almost immediately, it also greatly increases your chance of further heartbreak, and the next one will be even harder on you. Use caution when making such a decision. If your friend is going through these days, call them up, hang out, and remember to give them special treatment. Remember, the person feels horrible, worthless, and rejected. The best thing you can do is put them first and make as many sacrifices as possible. When they see you selflessly giving yourself to their happiness, it will impact them and greatly help. If they want to go to the mall, go along, and shop wherever they want to shop. If they want to hang out and play video games, play whatever game they want to play (and if you're really good, go easy on them and maybe even let them win without them knowing).

After around 3 or so days after the heartbreak, they'll start to feel better. The wound will be closing and it will start to scar. Although it may seem like they're better, (they'll act more normal and like themselves), remember they're still not fully recovered. Still pamper them a little bit, but not too much. Remember, if you overplay the nice person role, they'll become dependant on you, and never fully recover. But if you underplay it, they may go back into the heartbreak depression. If you're the victim and at this stage, you should be feeling better. But remember, you're not out of the tunnel yet. You'll want to go out and face the world, but this is mostly because you feel bad for missing the world so much, and want to make up for the time you lost in your depression. This is normal, and don't worry, so was the depression. You needed that down-time to recover, and now you want to make up for it. Don't. Go out and have fun, yes, but don't try and make up for lost time. Go at a good pace, one day at a time, and keep a good attitude. Keep in mind that you're still recovering, so don't try and make yourself feel like you're through it and ready to take on more challenges. You're not. If you do, you very well could end up back at the depression stage. Take it easy, but not too easy. Get out there, but don't go too far. Balance, grasshopper. Balance.

Now I'm not very far past it, so I'll have to continue this with the next entry. Part 2 will be about a week to 2 weeks after date of heartbreak. I hope you look forward to it. Until then, this is James William Walker V, still on the road to recovery. Adios!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Is it just me? Love

Ok, I know it's been a while, and I apologize, my life has been seriously putting me through he- *voice over* heck (Ba-dum psh!). So to make it up to all you guys who simply love my blog (you know who you are, both of you), I'm opening up my heart to give you something special. A rant about, you guessed it, love.

So what's the deal? Why love? I'll tell you why, so far my life has been all about love. Loving games, loving people, loving life. This recently changed due to a very unfortunate incident involving a (former) dear, dear friend of mine. So, I started asking myself questions; what is love? And no, baby don't hurt me no more isn't a good enough answer. I asked questions, got feedback, and the views of a few people.

"Love is more than an emotion, it's a commitment, a sacrifice." -- Suzanne Walker
"Love is God, God is love. That's an equal sign." -- Wayne Pedersen
"I've seen your face, I've heard your voice and I know your heart. What else do I need to love you?" -- Anonymous

Love can be interpreted as a range of things. Love can be respect, as you love a friend. Love can be lust, as in making love. Love can be romantic, as in loving a spouse. Love can be material, as in loving a hobby. Love can be a weapon of mass destruction, and it can be a weapon of mass healing. Love can bring life, and it can kill. The bible dedicated several verses to love. From "love is patient, love is kind", to "Hope, faith and love. But the greatest of these is love". Why is love so important? Life without love is life not worth living. I've found this out through bitter experience.

The problem with the world is we've lost sight of the importance of love, and we've twisted it. We now only see love as pleasure; lust. Turn on mtv and watch for 5 minutes, and I guarantee you'll see it. Let me remind you, mtv is watched by millions of teens from ages 12 to 18, and this is what they feed from. Is it any wonder why over half of all marriages in North America end in broken families? The lust dissolves, and the bond breaks. True love is a rare sight in today's world. True love is what will tie a family together for all time. True love is a love so pure, that when shared, there is a power emanating from those who share it that can affect the very world outside them. Love is like a deadly sword. In the right hands, it can cleave all fear and bring hope, faith, and joy. In the wrong hands, it spreads destruction and pain.

I see love as being an indispensable piece of life. Although, love in this world is no longer perfect. There was a time when it was, but it is not anymore. So many people say love is perfect, and they base other judgement off that. That's how the whole homosexual marriage thing flared up. Love is not perfect, it's been twisted, beyond the point of redemption. You cannot base a judgement off of love anymore, the only thing you can rely on in today's world is God, absolutely nothing less.

So is it just me, or has love taken a back seat, and let only one if it's forms reign? Think of the three-branch government, and how the country would last with only one of those branches. Is it just me, or is our world eroding because of society's lost sight of the one thing that truly matters more than anything else on this planet? Love. Jesus came not to condemn, but to save, through love. Love is the greatest asset mankind has, not nuclear power or internet, and yet like those things, it's perverted and twisted. Is it just me, or will this only get worse? This time, folks, I hope it's just me.